I’ve been in quite a funk lately. Partly because I’m grieving the summer that we never had due to illnesses mostly, also because of everything that has been happening in our country, and probably mostly because I have no time to myself to even do the work I want to be doing right now let alone take time for self care…yet even though I am not spending anytime on myself, I can’t help but feel selfish that my time and thoughts are spent being overwhelmed by mothering instead of doing anything actionable about supporting people of color or fighting for everyone’s access to healthcare or even reading the news to stay up to date. Motherhood is a beast, and most days I gladly settle for the doing my part business being trying to raise thoughtful human beings, but lately it hasn’t seemed like enough (and I’m feeling less confident in my ability to raise thoughtful human beings). Anyways, all this is to say that I spent a night at the farm with the kids because we haven’t spent nearly as much time there as I would have liked to this summer, and I thought it would be a nice opportunity to relax. I wasn’t able to break through my funk, but I did manage to pick up my camera.
The girls in the inflatable suits were pretty ridiculous. Chuck kept on knocking Winnie over with the slightest nudge. Winnie quickly got tired of it, and went to feed the goats, waving to them and calling them each by name. The girls were very excited to show Roland the goats as well. Chuck asked if she could give Winnie a ride around the farm, and I thought about how sweet they are together. Charlotte is a really kind older sister, and as Winnie’s ability to make believe and have conversations continues to grow, the way the play together feels very special. We found some cicada exoskeletons and even a snail shell. The girls did some digging (shovels and bare feet always make me a little nervous), and then we headed to South River for a brief walk before Winnie had to poop, and we had to head back home. Things really are just fine, and I’m sure I will feel more settled as soon as we get into a routine for the fall.