I have been keenly aware of the differences of being pregnant the second time around. As a second-born, this pregnancy has validated all my feelings of insecurity and unfairness that accompanied my childhood. This baby has already been shortchanged sentimentality, not necessarily because my attention is on the first-born, but maybe because it’s just not that interesting this time. Physically, I had a very easy first pregnancy. I loved being pregnant, and the fact that I was growing a child was all I thought about. I read so many books, watched so many videos, and felt present and connected to my baby and my belly at every stage along the way. This pregnancy has been easy as well. Aside from some early bleeding that led me to doubt the viability of the pregnancy for most of the first trimester, all was as pleasant as the first go around. The difference with this pregnancy has been how mentally and emotionally unaware I have been that I will be having a baby, that there is one growing inside me, and that it will be part of our family. Physically, my body feels more of this pregnancy. I am way bigger, way tireder, and have way less energy. Yet, when I walk by a mirror and see myself (even now, 10 days away from my “due” date), I am shocked and surprised that I’m actually pregnant. I figured the reality of the situation would have hit me sooner. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it won’t. Maybe labor will force me into a connection with this experience. Any other mamas feel this way about their pregnancies after the first one?
2 thoughts on “Pregnancy Round Two”
Yes, I remember that with the second one, too! But for me it was nice that it wasn’t quite such an intense experience. The love is the same but the process is definitely different. Baby 2 is such a great addition to the family and soon it will be hard to imagine how the family ever lived without her!
Her? We’ll find out soon enough. Glad to know I’m not alone.